Dealin' with the Fans

Tuesday May 31, 2005

At first I found these letters cute, but after receiving an additional 10 of them over the long weekend I am starting to be a bit bewildered. I mean they are not viruses, they are not spam or ads for anything. They are just pure gibberish….

Here are three more:

From: Zusman Whiting Whiting@fujiamerica.com
To: Mason Chung info@jeremyround.com
Re: I Can't Tell You How Much Fun We Had

"Hello,
His excellency changed colour. He sat quite still, staring at thethe spectacle disgusting and terrifying. It recalled the brutalIf I can't defeat him, I can sink my own ships in the channel, andnight. The Duke was to lead a surprise attack upon the RoyalistMiss Bishop and his lordship had been shown the utmost considerationI am sorry to press you in such a matter, Don Diego, but one glassPish! Ye're a white-livered cur when all is said.virtue of his service in the navy, was appointed by Blood to commanddistinguished Spaniard delivered from captivity in Barbados by yourbewilderment, fell abruptly silent.onerous a charge.His lordship snarled like a mountain-cat. That rascal Bishop shallthose that crawled out after him - the remnants of his crew - cursedCould she have guessed the extent of that postponement, vexationservant who had poured it withdrawn, Don Miguel laughed andYet short of some such measure, it appeared to Colonel Bishop

Hello,
from La Guayra.They should have left the island to leeward, heading into theyou've had enough of this, send me word, and we 'll have theover to swing her back to her course, his own prow replied. ButMr. Blood saw no profit to himself in lingering.had rescued peered up through the gloom.at once produce the money.conviction that the sands of Captain Blood's career were running out.But now it was observed that they were empty, save for the men whounder pain of imprisonment, and as the hum of voices gradually becamehalf-mile of the shore - that is to say, on the very edge of theLittle fool, her brother answered her - and the little was outdevil with Nuttall! Whether he gives surety for the boat or not,as they filtered from the upper to the lower bulb. And what timeThis being so, let us get on, in God's name; for we have much tocrouching for shelter amid the wreckage of the forecastle with

Hello,
we forge. In the class of warfare that lies before us they are sowas pulled ashore. From the distance he waved to Blood, who stoodsurprised. And barren must their victory remain until they couldBoth Esteban and Blood made haste to agree with him, and thenby another two, they made haste to obey, he turned to the others.had they grown worse.torn from his quiet homestead amid the fragrant cider orchardsmay have looked a little larger than usual. But she had herselfand daughter shrank away in renewed fear. Mr. Blood, at the headheaving breast, her face deathly pale, a wild terror in her eyes.CHAPTER XIIn prison? Her tone suggested apprehensions in which he had noWolverstone, the only one who held the clue to this degeneration,controlled himself, he asked in a concentrated voice:Not another word, in the name of Heaven! cried the Admiral inyou must have the actual date - that Peter Blood was brought to"

Though they are schizophrenic in nature, I find the letters delightful in tone and am overrun with curiosity as to why I am receiving them and what there true meaning is. Are they simple ramblings from a bored friend? Has JeremyRound.com found itself at the porthole to a bizarre alternate dimension that uses old English in fragments? Are these term papers from students of former Teach For America teachers?

Well here was my response to the last of the letters.

From: Mason Chung/Hooda Gage/Jayro Jr. jeremy@jeremyround.com
To:Zusman Whiting Whiting@fujiamerica.com
Re: Re: Your awesome letters

Hello,
Darith I do declare with redblood dancing, for lost and bewildered he dost be? Just then the beautiful green bird of Pigamee foundits I can’t seem to believe in a god so for heaven’ssake Hold the phone when you can’t find the soap. Dear Mr. So and so, I am writingin yes you too can prevent forest fires! Crouching and cusping Blood looked not for the sound but rather the shipsthat then her sister did call out his name. Fancy fancy, Ms. Thomas thought better of her criesand fled ne’er to be heard

Look….I don’t understand what you are trying to communicate with me. I am a reasonable and kind man and would love nothing more than to understand what it is you are trying to have me understand. Please let me know what your aim is in writing thse letters to me.

Thanks for your time,

Mason, Hooda, Jayro Jr.

I fear I may have just declared war on Prussia…

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Dealin' with the Fans

Tuesday May 31, 2005