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Bored at Work
Tuesday Jun 28, 2005 - Link to Entry
Each morning the haze burns off slowly as the cold desert night makes way for a sunblasted dry and temperate day. My office window over looks the intersection of Cahuenga and Sunset and from here I can view such famous landmarks as Amoeba Records, The Hollywood Sign, and of course Jack in the Box. Actually I can't really see the Jack in the Box but I thought mention of such would make for good comedy. I can see the CNN building however. Whatup Larry King!
The beginning of July has unfortunately become one of my least favorite times of the year. I used to love summer. Biking to the pool. Video games. Time with friends. Lightning bugs. But then as years went on it became early morning metra rides to the city sporting a shirt and tie. Mosquitos. Bees. And sadly loss.
Yet why should I dwell on the negatives? Sure I'm infuriated with a certain someone for making zero contact and leaving me with nothing but worried thoughts and unsteady sleep (I'm not going to name any names, just follow my eyes children). But I'm going on my first vacation of the year starting Thursday night, I have a show tonight, and life is going pretty well.
The following is a list of things that I miss from childhood in no particular order:
1. Slap Braclets
2. Super bouncy balls
3. Marbles
4. Darda Cars (hotwheels with engines)
5. Super Nintendo
6. Nintendo
7. Enjoying the Disney Channel
8. Being afraid of the dark
9. Not shaving
10. The Noid
11. Conference calls (Nichole, Sam, and I engaged in one yesterday and it was PIMP)
12. Butterflies in the stomach before, during, and after a date
13. P.E. (gym class)
14. Math Class
15. Chemistry Class
16. White Sox Home games
17. Attending college football
18. Alvin and the Chipmunks
19. Anticipating Back to the Future II
20. Anticipating Mac and Me II with optimism of its existence
21. Prepared meals
22. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the cartoon)
23. Denver the Last Dinosaur (the cartoon)
24. Playing baseball
25. Milk costing 5 cents
26. Making up books for book reports to avoid reading
27. Making up quotes for debate class to avoid research
28. Not buying books in college, knowing that I would not use them
29. Video game tournaments
30. Caps tournaments
31. The Highschool marching band drum core playing on a cold saturday morning as we warmed up for the big game
32. Wearing sweat pants, hypercolor, tye-dye and being stylish
33. Trying to make money by selling lemonade, walking dogs, babysitting, and other unsuccessful entrepeneurial efforts
34. Making up lyrics to video game music (ie. my song about jack the ripper to F-zero board 3 circuit 2)
35. Apple IIE
36. Delicious microwavable snacks and breakfasts (Sunrise three pancakes and two sausages and pizza/taco foldovers)
37. Fall
38. The first day that its warm enough to drive with the windows down
39. Sneaking out to: sled, hook up in your girlfriend's basement, go cruising
40. Taping late night porn
41. Carebears
42. Carebear Cousins
43. The Muppets
44. Bill Clinton!
45. Grades
46. Rankings
47. Musicals (performing and seeing)
48. Not knowing how movies were made and finding them purely magical
49. Playing football
50. Eating anything and everything and never having negative results
Okay, back to work. Show tonight, Thursday to Chicago. Peace hommies.
Show tomorrow then off to Chicago
Monday Jun 27, 2005 - Link to Entry
Hey peeps... Been busy preparing for the show tomorrow night at The Good Hurt. Its the first time I'm being featured as an instrumentalist and I'm actually kind of enjoying it.
Thursday I'm off to Chicago for Adam and Anne Marie's wedding. So updates will continue to be sparse.
Word.
Mo' Mail and Father's Day
Tuesday Jun 21, 2005 - Link to Entry
Man, I've gotten more Build-Your-Song requests in the past week than in the entire year prior. Here are some samples:
An Ordinary Kind of Request:
A request for a new song from Build-Your-Song
It was requested by: Charlotte
Email Address: _(undisclosed)____@hotmail.com
-----------------------------------------------
REASON: Movie, TV, Radio Use
STYLE: Contemporary Rock/Pop
IDEAS: None Given
INSTRUMENTATION: Lead Guitar, Piano, Bass, Drums.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: None Given
See not very much to work with . . .
A Bit Better:
A request for a new song from Build-Your-Song
It was requested by: Jordan
Email Address: __(undisclosed)__@hotmail.co.uk
---------------------------------------------
REASON: Movie, TV, Radio Use
STYLE: pop
IDEAS: Thats So Jordy Its The Future I Can See
Thats So Jordy So Mysterious to me
INSTRUMENTATION: any that fits with song
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: None Given
Its kind of like That's so Raven... I guess.
Whoa!:
A request for a new song from Build-Your-Song
It was requested by: Cory
Email Address: __(undisclosed)__@yahoo.com
-----------------------------------------------
REASON: Graduation
STYLE: Alternative
IDEAS:
This is how i want the words to go...just put music to it...
Closing This Chapter For A New
Waiting for everything to end
And move on
Is like waiting for a clock
To tick along
And keep the day goin
To release us from this cage
Of youth and no worries
As we let things go with age
And turn this page to the next
As life speeds up even more
And turn to the next chapter
Open a new door
(Chorus:)
We’re closing this chapter for a new
After everything we’ve been through
And our memories
Of everything we’d do
We’re closing this chapter for a new
Barbies were yesterday
GI Joes were there too
Then we kept aging
And it came to I love you’s
And driving around
Talking with friends
Like nothing could touch us
Life was just a trend
Like those presents under the tree
That we’d open up so fast
Not even reading the cards
The smiles were still cast
As we lived life at its best
Like it were our last
(Repeat Chorus:)
We’re closing this chapter for a new
After everything we’ve been through
And our memories
Of everything we’d do
We’re closing this chapter for a new
Now the years have moved on
We’ve grown up so much
We’re not those little kids anymore
Now its those kids live’s we’ll touch
As role models and everything more
As we get life jobs
And have families to care for
Because in the end we have memories
We’ll look back on later
And become even more free
Because graduation is just one mark
Out of three…
(Repeat Chorus:)
We’re closing this chapter for a new
After everything we’ve been through
And our memories
Of everything we’d do
We’re closing this chapter for a new
This chapter is a new
As we move on
And learn to choose
After moving on in this book
To a chapter’s new
(Fade:)
INSTRUMENTATION: Vocals, Lead Guitar, Bass, Drums
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: None Given
Did I say whoa? I guess I have some song writing to do. I'll write these prospective clients back with quotes for their desired products.
And all this thinking about mail reminded me of the word male which in turn reminded me of Father's Day. Ahh Father's day, the day of Fathers, or as they say in Spanish, Padres.
Yes the Padres...The baseball franchise located in Orange County's bastard step sister city San Diego. I don't much care for those Padres... Here's why:
1. In 2003 when attending a game at the old Qualcomm stadium, Ari, Gabe, Walker, Sam and I could not find the park as there were zero signs on the highway. After finally finding our way there we were told that the upper deck was sold out and we were forced to buy expensive "field level" outfield seats. First off not a soul was in the upper deck and secondly an outfield seat should never go for a field level price. Plus their food sucked.
2. Just two weeks ago Sam, Gabe, Adam, Eric and I drove down for the game against the White Sox. It took almost 3 hours to get down there (about 100 miles) which I blame on Padres fans solely. When we did get there the park and district that the park were nestled in were quite amazing I must say . . . BUT, the fans were straight up ASSHOLES!!! They surrounded us and chanted that our team sucked, and even as we were leaving the stadium after the heartbreaking loss, they continued to taunt us.
I officially hate the Padres more than any other franchise in sports and that's saying ALOT. But I can't go out on a negative note so I'll end this long entry with the . . .
TOP 5 things Father's SHOULD NOT SAY to their daughter's boyfriend:
5. In reference to an athlete falling from grace, "Marriage ruined his focus. If you can help it NEVER get married."
4. "Did you get a load of that girl...? Whooo-weee!"
3. "If she's anything like her mother, there's this little move in the bedroom that typically gets the job done."
2. "If you decide to hang in on this relationship, and believe me I won't be shocked if you bolt, but if you do stick around, you mind eloping?"
1. "If she's anything like her mother, you really should bolt."
Oh Padres.
More Fan Mail
Friday Jun 17, 2005 - Link to Entry
Yeah yeah yeah.... You know what, I've been busy. Editing is hard work. So is starting a new band and having out of town guests come everyday. Phrensick has started back up, so between the two sites you should get enough web content for one.
Anyway. Over the years I've gotten many a strange letters, some from fans, some from friends being douche bags, and some from strangers who felt that I misrepresented Paul McCartney and his stance of microwaveable meals. Most of the letters have been kind or silly but these latest two were just evil.
These were received on Tuesday. Note that whoever wrote them chose to remain unnamed. Here they are for your consideration (these letters are rated R for graphic language):
Letter 1 (a build-your-song request)
"From: Fuck You
Reply To: jeremyroundsucksdick@eatashit.com
To:
Subject: Build-Your-Song Request
Date: Tue, 14 Jun 2005 14:00:01 -0400
A request for a new song from Build-Your-Song
It was requested by: Fuck You
Email Address: jeremyroundsucksdick@eatashit.com
-----------------------------------------------
REASON: Mother's Day
STYLE: Anything you do sounds like shit anyway
IDEAS:
You're a loser who sounds like some stupid fuck we'd hear in a gay bar that would get cockslapped off stage. Include something about you being a complete fucktard that nobody likes. I mean, we all already know it, so hearing you say it would just be cool. But not really cool, because it's you and we hate you.
INSTRUMENTATION:
Shove your lead guitar up your pussy, you dumb fuck. And some percussion involving your head getting popped under a tire would be nice, too.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
Yeah... Fuck you. And have a horrible day."
and Letter 2....
"From:
Reply To: noreply@jeremyround.com
To:
Subject: Fuck you
Date: Tue, 14 Jun 2005 14:34:45 -0400
SENT FROM THE FORM ON JEREMYROUND.COM
This is an email from: Clay Aiken is gay
-----------------------------------------------
I hope your doing well in san fransisco. Instead of buying guitars maybe you should invest in a fucking gym membership you pussy. well anyways im gonna go back to looking at your lame ass web site. just wanted to stop by and tell u that your music sounds like shit. I hope you didnt spend all the money on it."
Well I suppose if "Clay Aiken is gay" or "Fuck You" had left an email address this would be my response:
"Dear CAiG or FY,
Awwwww.... How sweet. Thank you for the letters and for spending some time with us at JeremyRound.com. Despite infrequent updates as of late our webtraffic is at an all time high due to our increased web visibility.
I'm glad you have written me so early for your Mother's Day song request. Having almost eleven months to write such a complicated piece will allow for the quality product that you and your mother will be able to enjoy for years to come.
I am not familiar with the style you have chosen for this song and would like to discuss it further. Please send your phone number and a good time to reach you and I will follow up with you to obtain the necessary information.
As far as your well wishes for my life in San Francisco, I have actually relocated to sunny Southern California. I think my website indicates such, but I apologize for any confusion and appreciate your kind thoughts.
I also thought you'd be happy to know that I actually have several guitars AND a gym membership. Turns out when you do well enough you can afford both and for such luxuries to be a part of my life, I feel truly blessed.
I'm sorry that you do not enjoy the music or perhaps I misinterpret and you enjoy the sound of defication. Nonetheless, all "the money" remains in tact and my financials are quite well.
Thank you, CYig/FY, again for your letters and I look forward to working with you on your Build-your-song request!
All the best,
Jeremy Round
PS. I don't know what has embittered you so much to life, but you better find something positive in this world for yourself before you go through the rest of it hating everything."
Neat!
You said WHAT?!
Thursday Jun 9, 2005 - Link to Entry
Sometimes children do and say things that sometimes make absolutely no sense to adults, but if you look just a little bit closer you can see the wisdom in their naivety. I mean Bill Cosby had an entire show based around such (Kids say the Darndest Things), Haley Joel Osment starred in a box office under-achieving film about said topic (Pay it Forward) , and we've all heard stories from our very own parents retelling moments from yesteryear.
Well a couple of stories come to mind from my own childhood. And this being my website I will feel free to tell three of them:
1. Most kids' first word is something along the lines of 'Mom' or 'Dad'. Not mine. According to sources my first word was 'Cookie.' Cookies remain a staple of my diet today. That's wisdom and foresight. And delicious.... Fudge stripe, thin mint (grasshoppers), M & M, chocolate chip, oreos, etc etc etc....
2. When I was little I really loved balloons. I would beg and beg for them. And the second I got my way? I'd release the balloon and watch it fly up into the clouds and out of sight.
This of course got tiresome for my family and I stopped getting the balloons so easily. So I would promise up and down that I would not release them anymore. Eventually though with enough promising mixed with begging and sweet childish batting of the eyes I would once again get my way and receive another balloon.
My mother would say, "Don't let that balloon go. You must keep it and enjoy it." But I had no intention of doing so. As quickly as possible I would release it to the heavens declaring, "Fly to Freedom! Fly, Fly!!"
3. As a child, well truth be told still today, I often had gas. But when I was little I didn't know it was called gas, or a toot, or a fart, or what have you. So once when I passed gas loudly at a family meal at the ripe age of 3 I decided it was time to name this act that was occurring seemingly on a daily basis. I looked up and said, "Tooshy Burp."
Perhaps speaking of cookies and farts while trying to free balloons from oppression won't really ring true with you as acts that show the truest brilliance of a child. All I know is I still find them charming.
Meowsers
Monday Jun 6, 2005 - Link to Entry
Hey there loyal readers, web browsers, and fans of the late chef of the same name.
After learning that in a fictitious alternate reality Stevie B of "Because I love you" fame would be covering my "Goodbye" for a live TV event and also coming to understand that JeremyRound.com just narrowly beat out a feline blog, I'm rearing to go. I mean, come on... who wouldn't be?
So for four consecutive weekends (including this upcoming one) I have had family come to visit. Such visits, while incredibly welcome and wonderful, have been a tad bit time consuming.
And my family isnt the only one I've gotten to spend some quality time with. Thus bringing us to the theme of this entry...Meeting the Parents.
Meeting the parents can be a very tricky thing. Balancing good behavior with being socially interactive and engaging is often a challenge. My experiences of last week lead me to create a list of how one should, or rather should not behave when having a first interaction with a partner's family.
The following are the TOP 10 things to NOT do when first meeting your significant other's parents:
10. When asked how you met their child respond with, "She was in my bed when I woke up, hungover."
9. When ordering from the menu select the fillet minon and explain, "The Doctor said that iron should keep the voices in my head at bay."
8. When scheduling a meeting location, explain to them that, due to the terms of your parole, you need to stay within a five mile radius of your home.
7. If they say something like, "You have a very tanned and healthy complexion," you respond with, "I usually look good after I fuck your daughter."
6. When your phone rings, stand up and say, "I gotta take this, its my dealer."
5. When asked what you want to do with your life respond with, "Your house seems nice, I figured we'd move in and wait for you to die."
4. When the father begins using large hand gestures while telling a less than amusing story (which inevitably will happen every time) use the sugar substitute to form a fake football and finger kick it through his fingers for 3 points.
3. When the mother answers the door and the dog runs out and immediately starts sniffing and licking your crotch respond with, "The dog and your daughter clearly compare techniques."
2. When thanking the father for the meal be sure to add, "Oh and pops, you owe me another couple hundred for feeding that brat of yours. Check or cash is fine."
1. And the number one thing to NOT do when meeting the parents is.... When they ask you, "What do you do?" you respond, "I'll tell you what I don't do. I don't use protection."
None of these things came into play during my day with Carla's family. Luckily we had a wonderful time although I did get suckered into seeing Star Wars III again and not surprisingly it was still a horrible film. Just really, really bad.