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The New Adventures of Flat Stanley

Tuesday Jan 25, 2005

Recently in the mail I received a very large envelope containing the following items: a letter, another envelope, and a 4 foot tall paper cut out named Flat Stanley.

The letter reads:

"Dear Jeremy,

I am sending you my Flat Stanley that I drew in my Kindergarten class. Mrs. Morrow, my kindergarten teacher, read us a story about Flat Stanley one day. Flat Stanley was laying in his bed one night when the bulletin board fell off his wall and flattened him out. Being flat as a pancake, he can go and do the most interesting things. I am mailing him to you, and I would like you to take care of him while he visits you at your home He needs to spend some time with you and have some fun while he is there. Please take some pictures and tell me what you and Flat Stanley did while he was visiting. Please make a photo booklet for my class to see with captions under each picture. If Flat Stanley happened to get any souvenirs while he was with you, please send them with him in the brown envelope. Send Flat Stanley and any pictures etc., back to my school by the last week in February. My teacher has enclosed an extra big brown envelope so Flat Stanley can be mailed back to me at my school. Fold him up neatly so he can arrive at my school safely. Now don't forget to send him back on tim ewith lots of memories of the time he spent with you. I can't wait for Flat Stanley and the booklet [to] arrive at school. We get to show the class all the interesting things he did while visiting you. We are going to look at them in class and display them at Open Huose. I hope Flat Stanley has fun! Take good care of him. It will be so much fun when he arrives at school. I hope you and Flat Stanley have fun together.

Love,
Sara"

First off I can't believe I needed to add a word to make sense of the 7th to last sentence. Shame...

Secondly...Wow! I've got Flat Stanley for a month and I'll be damned if I don't try my hardest to make little Sara's Stanley have the absolute coolest month of them all.

Problem though. The Flat Stanley she sent me doesn't seem to understand that he's for a kindergarten project. He desperately wants to party and cruise chicks, although he said something about Tom Cruise being a hottie so I think he may be open to folding both ways. Anyway, I've decided in this situation my flat visitor and I can have our cake and eat it too.

In the upcoming month I will be taking young Stanley everywhere including a wedding/bachelor party this weekend in Miami, jury duty next month, my show, work, all the sites, on dates, and more. Since some of these exploits will unfortunately not be age appropriate for the young uns of McAllen, TX, Stanley and I will post them here.

So if I can manage not to accidentally rip him, as he is quite large and quite fragile, Flat S-dogg will have his Kindergarten adventures and his secret double life fufilled in a month's time.