Jury Duty

Monday Jan 17, 2005

Is it strange that I was excited when I found a Jury Summons in my mailbox late last week? I have jury eligible for over 6.5 years and everyone I know seemingly has had the opportunity to at least be interviewed as a potential juror. Well it seems my big day has come.

The week of St. Valentine's day is my potential report time. I, of course, do not actually want to be selected to serve on a jury unless we are talking a really short trial. I've got my own stuff to do, ya know? Beyond that I don't exactly think that I'm the even keel straight shooting perspective that would be ideal in a juror. Courtroom decisions are so black and white, and I believe in shades of grey when it comes to the multi-layered onion of truth.

I'd like to speculate what kind of questions the attorneys might grill me with to determine my eligibility... The following is a short one act play discussing the aforementioned scenario.

State Prosecutor: Do you for any reason believe that you cannot serve on this jury?
Me (the 9th Juror): Well. Nothing I can really think of. Juror 7 is kind of a dick but after the way you grilled him I don't think he's gonna make the cut.
State Prosecutor: Juror number 9, would you have any problem convicting a defendant of 1st degree murder?
Me: I suppose not.
State Prosecutor: What if the weapon in question was a gun?
Me: Well, I suppose I'd blame the gun manufacturer.
State Prosecutor: The manufacturer?
Me: Well yes, or perhaps the defendants parents for creating him. Without them there would have been no murder. Without the gun, no murder. Is it really the defendants fault?

Fin.

I just don't think I'm jury material. But I'll try my best to help our justice system because I love it so.

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Jury Duty

Monday Jan 17, 2005