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Whale Man Arrested

Sunday Apr 3, 2005

AP Ficticia, NY – 3 minutes ago.

The man authorities have referred to as “Whale Man,” was taken into custody today after a series of formal complaints from his neighbors uncovered his newest hiding place. Danty Loso Preatapay, 38, originally from a privately owned group of islands somewhere in the Indian Ocean, became interested in sea mammals at a young age. He began training local wild Whales and Porpoises to put on shows for local farmers and schoolgirls.

His knack for teaching the animals soon turned sour when Preatapay realized he could teach the animals to steal from passing cruise ships. Soon both Carnival and Norwegian Cruise lines had hired bounty hunters to try to kill these crafty creatures. If it hadn’t been for a tropical storm that changed the course of a UN aid boat perhaps these bounty hunters would have gone unnoticed.

Instead the crafty animals were found and shipped to nearby aquariums. Once in custody tests were done on the creatures to try to uncover the identity of the mysterious Whale Man. The results showed the approximate location of their trainer, a plot that had belonged to none other than Danty Loso Pretapay who had coincidentally disappeared just weeks before his home was seized by UN authorities.

Though it was thought that he would never be discovered, a recent series of letters addressed to the owners of the famous 27GK building on the corner of Palmer Dr. and Anista St. led local authorities to believe that a sea mammal was illegally being harbored on the 8th floor. After appropriate warrants were obtained Pretapay was taken into custody and currently stands charges in several nations for theft and illegal wildlife interaction.