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Catch me if you can
Thursday Feb 26, 2004 - Link to Entry
Now you see me, now you don't. In the past 10 days I have been to Palm Springs, LA, and still worked virtually full time here in SF. And with two weeks left before I depart for Japan you better catch me while you still can....
Details on the quick journey to LA tomorrow. For now, sleep.
Sun, Just come visit for Awhile
Sunday Feb 22, 2004 - Link to Entry
And just like that this morning arrived, a breath of fresh air. Sometimes all you need is to sound off on yourself, let it all pour out, and then rebuild anew.
Today the sun is threatening to show its face and I'm planning on taking advantage of this rare SF opportunity with a sports day with Eric, that is after Michigan loses its silly game and he comes over. In the interim its taxes, IM, and a little bit of guitar.
Tomorrow I will most likely be heading down to Santa Barbara for the funeral of my friend's parents. I'm trying to help out in anyway I can.
In the meanwhile, the clouds from the west look threatening. I better get myself outside.
Thanks for reading and remember just one copy of the goodbye project isn't enough. :)
Lost in Creation
Sunday Feb 22, 2004 - Link to Entry
This is a very introspective rant. I found it therapeutic to pour it all out. Take it or leave it but don't let it worry you.
From the ground I built a band. Never for a moment did I think it perfect. But for it to have taken so much sweat and effort and to have fallen apart over night after a reasonably successful premier. Disappointing. Maybe even devistating. Lets face a simple fact. Since the evening of January 19th I have felt lost. I had tunnel vision for so long and my project that was going to be my training wheels on the way to LA LA land fell apart before it even had a chance to savour the light of day. And for what? Its not like the members are off playing bigger and better shows. Its not like the members are really doing anything at all. Is it the era we are in or is it the place we live or is it simply me? Questions circling like buzzards picking at my once driven heart.
I must face it, I'm lost in Creation. Though no one thing or one person is to blame, the collapse of my musical life, albeit temporary, has spiralled me into a major life funk. Now at the bottom looking up wondering how this hole got so deep. My friend Sam tells me you have to battle the doubts everyday. The fact of the matter is there will always be someone better and even if there isn't you cannot stay on top of the hill. You just have to stay focused and driven and keep wanting the hell out of it. I guess I met my match in you, Koala Jones, in you San Francisco, in you 2004. At least for the moment.
I guess I cannot blame all of this on the music. Let's face it, I was so busy last fall I did not have time to look around. Life has lost a little luster without those great kids antagonizing my everyday. Knowing that they needed me and really inversely coming to understand that I needed them was a life force that has been missed in this year of subbing, djing, and music odds and ends. For the first time in my life I failed to really create a safety net in case I stumbled. Maybe I needed to fall.
This sounds so dark, but it isn't meant to be. I'm simply at a crossroads. The future is uncertain and I must decide what to focus the majority of my stock into. Shall I just spend these months studying music and getting better at my craft while I look to make a move into the film industry upon my arrival in LA? Should I simply have fun and enjoy this time in San Francisco, a wonderful city which for one reason or another I have not found a way to co-exist in harmony with? Shall I travel to and fro? I'm already booked for Japan, Chicago and Vegas for the wedding, and I'm sure I'll find my way to LA a half dozen times or more before all is said and done. What is keeping me here except loyalty to friends and business commitments?
Some awful things have happened in the past week. A friend from college had a most horrific tragedy in her family. (I do not want to write about the details as it is not on my mind or here in this entry for News purposes.) Just hearing about this double murder involving her father and step-mom put so much into perspective. It makes things like music and film seem insignificant. It makes all of this routine seem silly. It makes all the bullshit that plagues the days small and unimportant. And how do we just keep going on like nothing ever happened. This stuff is happening everywhere everyday. But to live in a world where you keep your eyes open to the darker side of life is to live a very frightened and empty existence. I suppose you have to find a balance to understand the fragility and splendor of life while maintaining a grounded but positive perspective.
I have so much to say that has already been said by millions millions of times over. All we really have is love because everyone has something beautiful to share but we do not have time to see, read, and listen to it all. With all the people through all the years of humanity having so much to contribute, all we can hope for is to enjoy what we get to enjoy with people we love.
I feel better. Now if I could just figure out how to call Japan.
JayRow Responds to Fan Mail
Thursday Feb 19, 2004 - Link to Entry
The following is a real email I received today and my response for all to read.
SENT FROM THE FORM ON JEREMYROUND.COM
This is an email from: Name not given
-----------------------------------------------
Dude linda has been selling her line for over ten years....where have you been?
I hope your music is more connected then you...peace out
Hello,
Thanks for reading the site and submitting your thoughts here at JeremyRound.com. A few thoughts for you. Linda passed away in April of 1998, about six years ago. So it seems clear to me that she has not been handling the operation for quite sometime. Which is why yesterday I felt compelled to question Paul's business motives since he seems more than willing to be enterprising in regards to the deaths of his friends and family (ie. Anthology, The One's, Linda McCartney's Frozen Foods, etc). Also I did mention yesterday that I found out the product has been around for quite some time, "[A]pparently the brand has been around since before she passed away." (Round, www.jeremyround.com, 2/18/04, RoundRecords:Cap'n Design Websites) Do you work for Paul McCartney or Mr. Unkown (you of course did not identify yourself) do you struggle to read full entries in one sitting. I do not even wish to tackle the grammar errors.
Thanks again for taking the time to give us feedback. We'd love to hear from you again.
Sincerely,
RoundRecords
Grocery Shock!
Wednesday Feb 18, 2004 - Link to Entry
I was just minding my own in the frozen food section when something caught my eye. A frozen lasagne and macaroni product I had never seen. This new brand was called "Linda McCartney's."
Now I understand Paul is a moneymaking machine but to exploit his deceased wife by making her a frozen food brandname? This is an all time low. To his defense it says that a portion of the proceeds go the the make-a-wish foundation. Also to further defend him apparently the brand has been around since before she passed away. Still, his willingness to make a buck off of his fallen commarades has become disconcerting. I bought three boxes.
Valentine's Day
Wednesday Feb 18, 2004 - Link to Entry
It wasn't your typical Valetine's Day. Knowing that I had a wedding to work on the day of love should have been foreshadowing enough for the far-from-ordinary weekend that was to take place. Now I don't make a habit of discussing the clients and their events here at jro.com but after 6 months of DJing and having the same old same old, this was certainly unique. Imagine if you will your High School's Dungeons and Dragons club having a fancy wedding. Imagine how they would dress, what they would toast to, how they would drink. Eric, who has now become a regular at my events and the best damn assistant I've ever had (I dont' pay him), and I could not stop laughing at the insanity of what was taking place. There were gentlemen sporting long tuxedo tails while wearing blue jeans, sneakers, and huge Abraham Lincoln Top Hats. There were women sporting tatooes that represented the best of children's literature. The toasts were full of cartoon and comic book references, and the best man, no older than 19, was going around with a bottle of whiskey and pouring it down people's throats as if he was a waiter in Tijuana. And yet, since the last time we spoke this was probably the most routine thing I have done.
That brings us to Sunday, 6am, SFO international. Where you goin JRo? Down to Palm Springs to be with the family and say goodbye to our terminally ill Grandma Jackie. Though I'm sure it sounds less than uplifting it was actually an amazing trip. It is truly rare when a human life is aware of its specific expiration date. Though death and goodbye are always sad, in this instance you have a chance to say all the things you need to say while you can still be heard and spoken back to. I was very greatful for the opportunity and enjoyed seeing so much of the family over my 36 hour stint. Plus they have deli's and casinos in P Springs, so I was able to enjoy the warmth of the sun, the fun of vegas, the food of NY, and the family of Chicago all in one short jaunt to the deserts of California. And I won some money playing Black Jack!
Monday of course was the greatest holiday of them all, President's Day. I celebrated it by waiting at Palm Springs airport for 2.5 hours for my delayed flight. But it beats working!
Though my day of St. Valentine was spent celebrating someone else's love I would like to send thanks to three young children in Japan who declared the following in their International Greeting Cards:
"Dear Jeremy, I think you are veri cool. Let's be friend. My name is #$%&* *#@# (omitted for protection of the innocent). I like Kyudo. Do you like suportu?"
"Happy Valentine SDay. I am from Japan. I think you are nice. Please write back :)"
and last but not least,
"Dear Jeremy, Hello? My name is $#%& *#$$#@# (again for his/her protection). I like soccer very much. I hope we can be friends. See you."
Well I got another very special valetine from Japan as well but that one is for my eyes only. And in case you wondering these weren't random fans abroad, but rather the students of that special Valentine writer, Sachiko. My music may have spread far and wide, but unlike my fellow superstar Jacko, I haven't found a way to touch the children with it. Pun not intended.
Old Friends
Friday Feb 13, 2004 - Link to Entry
It is always nice to catch up with and old friend who you have not found time to speak to in a long time. In the past two days I have had that opportunity occur twice.
The first was a phone call from a good friend from college, Barbara. Now quite a bit has happened since that overheated day in June almost two years ago and having a conversation with someone who knew you when really shows you how far you have come. As the person on the other end of the line senses differences you too see how even subtle things have changed. Its like a temporal metamorphic reflection. Beyond all that its nice to see connections hold strong through time and distance.
The second was a dinner with Meghan's subletter from last summer, Kathy. Though it had not been as long so much happened even this past fall that the meal was filled with both naan and great conversation. Its not too often I get to talk Twilight Zone.
So if you're feeling you need a marker to see how far you've come. Pick up the phone and call that number you scroll over when you see it because you feel too much dust has settled. It hasn't. Friends love to hear from friends.
And now a series of triva questions presented jeopardy style:
1) This is cooler than being cool.
2) Bad Boys II tells you to shake your tail this.
3) This was the last time Friday the 13th proceeded Valentines day pre-2004.
4) The city where Round wrote "taking a deuce"
First 5 people to write me with the correct answers will receive an autographed copy of The Goodbye Project.
Oh and PS, I'm now a card carrying member of ASCAP, woo hoo!
Clay Aiken
Wednesday Feb 11, 2004 - Link to Entry
Yesterday a couple boys from the class I always end up teaching told me they checked out the website. See most of the kids know that I have this "secret" music life outside of school but I've struggled with how much I can share with them. For one, my music does have profanity in it. Okay, its not alot. A total of two curses on the new album. But still I'm their teacher. Although from my DJ-ing I know that the typical hip-hop song unedited contains an average of 11.3 swears. Secondly, alot of them hate pop/rock and I don't really feel like being mocked. For example, the boys who I previously mentioned told me that after listening to some sounds clips from the site they think I sound a little too much like Clay Aiken. Now while this was flattering since we all know Clay has a million-dollar voice, the kids don't think of Clay in that light. They think, Clay=lame.
Its always funny who people compare you to. Here is a list of some artists I have been compared to and my thoughts:
The Pixies - never heard any of their music.
Jethro Tull - also never really heard any.
Josh Groban - well he does look Jewish and sings musical style
Clay Aiken - are the kids trying to tell me something here?
Jon Mayer - well we are both men with guitars.
Crash Test Dummies - is it my seeming connnection with Christian style rock or low voice that draws this comparison?
Dave Matthews - Do you really mean it?? Thanks!
Janet Jackson - I think my roommates just said this because I like to walk around half-naked.
Pat McGee - I've heard good things, but never really heard the music.
Weezer - Nerds with guitars, I can see it.
Buddy Holly - Nerd with a guitar, I can see it.
The Monkees - Trying to emulate the Beatles and feed off their success, right on!
and of course my all time favorite - Barney - my sweet little cousin told me I reminded her of Barney and Chuck E. Cheese when I sing.
Thanks for reading!
JayRow
PS. For those who don't know...I am going to Japan in March. Good now we're all on the same page.
Throwing in the towel...
Tuesday Feb 10, 2004 - Link to Entry
After completing the Goodbye Project there were two roads I had to choose from. The Singer/Songwriter route or the Band route. Now truth be told, already having a singer/songwriter product, choosing the band route may not have been the wisest decision. Well thats all good and well in retrospect.
So here we are, today, Feb 10th. The band is virtually no longer. Today I turned the practice space over to a new tenant. Though I'm not thrilled with how quickly the project turned into nothing, I am not disappointed.
I learned the following lessons from "Koala Jones"
A) Personality and Drive matching with collaboration matter a whole hell of a lot more than sound and talent
B) I need to surround myself with people who are passionate and are willing to do what it takes to create something new and amazing
C) I definitely want to work in a collaborative situation upon my arrival in Los Angeles, it simply is not worth the time to build something now only to leave it behind
D) I have a long way to go but I have done quite a bit that I can be proud of and build on
And so Koala Jones is in fact no longer. Perhaps there will be small bits and pieces here and there, but the five men who conquered the Red Devil Lounge have perhaps played their last song together.
As soon as the weather gets better and my amp is fixed, look for JayRow to take on the streets of SF as a West Coast Busker. You ain't seen nothin' yet!
Grammys
Sunday Feb 8, 2004 - Link to Entry
We at RoundRecords are disappointed at our lack of nominated work this year. We feel as though we have been overlooked and would like to thank you, the fans, for all of your support through this difficult time. Though it is an uphill battle to music mainstream and greatness we believe that with our label's commitment to creating music You will love, we will find ourselves firmly atop the summit in a few years time.
Truth be told the Grammys are a slap in the face reminder of how far I have ahead of me to make my dream a reality. But then on second thought, is that really what I want. I think of all the bands I really love and all of my favorite songs and most of them have never been heard by the general public. I think if you played Jump, Little Children's "Cathedrals" and put it head to head against this years favorite "Hey Ya" it would be a no-contest. "Cathedrals" and the millions of other songs that have never seen the light of day but that contain the blood sweat and tears of their creators are so much closer to the essence of greatness. Is music just an enterprise of entertainment or something bigger, something more universal and spiritual?
Yesterday my singing group had a performance for a small charter school in the worst neighborhood of San Francisco. From the moment we opened our mouths the children lit up with joy. They were hanging on every utterance, every sound, every chord, and every beat. It awoke something inside of them that they may have never known was there. None of the songs we sang would be grammy worthy yet 10 year old children called the songs the sweetest they'd ever heard.
Lately I've been struggling with the idea of "making it" versus just creating music that I love to play. Though I would love the former I simply could not do it without taking the path of the latter. All I know is that music is an essential part of my being and I will somehow someway make a living working with it. I do not know if that will be as an artist or not, but its not the spotlight I crave, its the fulfillment of creation and of moving others.
Perhaps that is the aim of the Grammys too. Perhaps it is just to much to encompass the whole of worthwile music into the mainstream. Perhaps if those unknowns became knowns they would lose their luster. All I know is I'm just going to keep on playing with my heart and singing with all my soul. At least I'll know I tried my best.
Gym, movies, and whatnot
Thursday Feb 5, 2004 - Link to Entry
This past Monday I finally bit the bullet and joined the corner gym. Somewhere between Eric calling me fat and losing my breath walking up the stairs, I decided it was time.
Of course the moment I was in there it felt like highschool again. In fact in most ways this place resembled my HS gym. So of course I believed that I could do what I could do back in the 90's. Well I learned a very important lesson. The 90's were a long time ago. The result after my second workout; temporary paralysis of my arms due to overworking the triceps.
Movies. I love movies. I was just thinking about an old favorite, Magnolia. Its been on my mind ever since I saw The Cooler on Monday night (after my workout). As much as I think William H. Macy is awesome, I'm not certain that there was much different between his characters in these two films besides sexual preference. I guess I like Jack and he always is the same character.
Got some industry inside info yesterday. Jerry is finally back in town after a month up in Oregon working on a record. Always good to catch up.
My arms hurt.
San Francisco
Monday Feb 2, 2004 - Link to Entry
I awoke this morning from the intermittent pounding of rain upon my skylight. “Heavy rain for SF,” I thought to myself. An hour later I was on my way to work. Highest setting on the windshield wipers, defrosters blaring, I could see that this was a lasting storm.
Fast forward two hours. Sun is out bright as can be. Fast forward ten minutes. Raining lightly, grey, not a splotch of blue in the sky. An hour later, clear and sunny. A threat of clouds on the horizon.
You get the picture. The weather here from place to place and moment to moment can make your head spin. I thought I moved to California but I think I found a warm Seattle, not the wealth of treasures I was promised when I committed myself to go West.
However, despite its many, many, many shortcomings, SF affords several wonderful perks. One such perk is the ability to make miracles happen any and everyday. Take my parking this evening for example. I found a “spot” just a half block away (which was good because it was raining). After backing into it and trying to get straightened out I started to realize that this was no ordinary spot. This was the smallest possible spot my vehicle could fit in. My realizations were further affirmed when I exited my car to see that I had in fact one inch in front and half of an inch* behind the car between my CRV and the other cars. Miracles happen in this city every day! Thanks for letting one dazzle me tonight SF!
*For my International fans who are unfamiliar with our crazy measurement system, we’re talking 2.5cm’s in the front, and 1.25cm in the back. (disclaimer – I have no idea if that is correct)
Weekend
Sunday Feb 1, 2004 - Link to Entry
Short entry because frankly I’m exhausted. Friday was a great little adventure. Jon and I drove for about an hour to a cute coffee shop in a posh suburb of Oakland. Though we weren’t as sharp as we’ve been in the past we had quite a bit of fun and were able to play for a variety of different people as they came in and out. Overall, it was a good usage of a Friday evening.
Saturday was really Sunday because of the Superbowl viewing and celebrating at whatnot. Running errands and shopping dominated the day. Sunday brought a great Sabela rehearsal, a decent game, a full stomach, and of course the return of Survivor.
I’d like to point out that Word thinks I have misspelled Superbowl. I guess Bill Gates doesn’t like football.