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The Inner Urges by Davis Schwarting

Tuesday Dec 7, 2004

Do you eat because you want to? Or do you dine as an attempt to make your stomach shut the hell up? Stop Whining. Stop asking, stop begging. That’s why I feed my stomach. That’s why I fill my mouth. To make it stop.

That’s why I lay down at night. Well most of the time anyways. I lay down because I’m tired. I don’t lay down because I want to lay down. Sure sometimes I wanna lay down. Sometimes I just wanna get off of my feet. But most of the time if I had the energy I’d keep going. There are things I am much more interested than sleep.

Even though sleep is probably the best part of my day. I don’t mean to sound sad or negative or pathetic when I say something like that. It’s just that sleep is so unfiltered. Your system takes care of what it needs to while you’re sleeping, it heals wounds – it does things so much quicker than when you’re awake. While you’re watching it can’t do it. You think you grew by day? No! You’d wake up and be taller.

Same now. Obviously not growing anymore, though sometimes I wish I were. At just 5’8” I’m not thrilled with how high I am off the ground. I always dreamed I’d be at least 6 foot, be able to dunk a ball. Even at almost 25 I still fancy myself a potential professional athlete. Even though many athletes are my age or younger.

I’m getting older, not taller. My sporting skills -- not exactly improving. Still tired and still sleeping, alot. And I’m still just feeding my stomach.