Jeremy Round World Tour - part I

Tuesday Aug 24, 2004

Jeremystock '04 almost came to a screeching hault before it even had a chance to begin. Nichole, good friend and former SF roommate, was set to pick me up at my home in Los Angeles on Saturday morning at 9:30am to get me to the airport for my 11:15am flight. She came through in the clutch arriving a few minutes before scheduled. Unfortunately I, without really needing its usage for the past three months or so, have apparently forgotten how to use my alarm clock. So her call, instead of bringing me downstairs ready to go, woke me up. I scrambled to finish packing and prepare for the evening (I was off to SF to DJ and needed to dress the part in case my flight was delayed or something else went wrong and I was unable to change pre-event). We got on the road at a few minutes past 10am. Nichole started the car and asked, "So where is Burbank airport?" I explained that I had seen signage driving into LA a few weeks prior and I expected those same signs to guide us on our way. She was not so confident. As 10:23am passed us by and we were miles beyond Burbank she pulled off the highway. Tension was building as I was seeing flashes of The Amazing Race in my head. Nichole, though slightly angered by my last second idiocy, was enjoying herself and the race against time that ensued.

I bolted from the car to the gas station attendant. "Good day sir. Can you tell me the fastest route to Burbank." Now I no longer was entertaining CBS prime time programming in my nogin (how does one spell nogin/nogan/knogan....who knows?). Instead I was Dustin Hoffman off to stop Elaine from marrying the make out king. I had fire, I had urgency, he had directions. 7 miles or so he estimated. If we could keep a pace of 40mph I'd get to the airport with a little over a half an hour to spare which I thought might be enough time...

We were on our way...Nichole quickly asked for confirmation that I would pay for a speeding ticket. I pretended not to hear as we zoomed on. A plane could be seen on the horizon preparing to land. The airport was just moments away.

10:41 - 34 mins until Southwest takes off with or without me. We finally see some signage that dictates a round about path to the enterance of good old Bob Hope Airport. Unfortunately we are not the only ones trying to get there but seemingly are the only ones in a hurry. The next mile or so takes about 6 minutes as Nichole pulls up to the gate with now only 28 minutes until take off.

I sprint in. There's a line and I have bags. I big damn line and I have bags. I ask myself, WWJD? No not what Jesus would do, what would Jayro do, silly. The answer: Lie to get on that plane. I go just behind the folks at the front of the line and explain that I was standing behind them and then needed to go to the bathroom. They do not protest and offer me a spot ahead of them as I explain that I now have 20 minutes until take off.

"Next please." Moment of truth. Will the irrelevant employee who prints out a boarding pass and puts a sticker on my luggage (yes computers can handle this job), will she allow me access to this flight, or is it closed?

OE (obsolete employee): "My you're running late."
Me (actually telling truth): "We got lost. I assumed there would be signs."
OE: "You know what they say about assuming..." And then, I swear she said this, as if she were a stockholder or something. "You should use Mapquest. I use mapquest all the time. Mapquest is great and getting me where I need to go without any troubles at all. Mapquest Mapquest Mapquest Mapquest."
Me (now lying like a madman): "I love mapquest. My internet is not yet installed as I just moved here (well that actually is true). Is it still possible for me to get on this flight?" And I continued even though I think she nodded yes after I mentioned my "love" of mapquest, "See my friend's sister suddenly passed away and well I'd understand if I can't be on this flight, but I'd like to go and support him and his family as soon as possible."
OE: "Run!"

And away I went soon realizing that my big fancy black shoes and belt would be another obstacle. I was no longer an Amazing Race character or Dustin Hoffman, I was Kevin McCallister (Macauly Culkin in Home Alone II) making a mad dash for the plane.

This story has gotten more than enough screentime. I made the damn flight, okay? Moving on....

Eric, aka young Rico, picked me up at Oakland on time and we headed back to the Francisco to relax, watch Amazing Race, and get ready for the evening's event. A couple hours later we were at a Bat Mitzvah in Marin county. Based on the list of requests and the unusual format of the event I could tell it would be a challenging and interesting evening.

See instead of serving dinner the event just had dessert bars which means I was responsible for creating a dancing environment for 4 hours which is tough when kids only like so many songs. Plus there were adults present making it hard to just go with the current hits. Eric, aka young Rico, loves old school Bar Mitzvahs with over the top DJ's who wear wigs and dance and sing all the songs. My company couldn't not be more against that style of DJing, but the client is always right and this client wanted to hear the Macarena...twice.

After playing copacabana, YMCA, the hampster dance remix, and mony mony I knew it was time to turn it up a notch and I knew Eric was the one who would do the turning (Eric = Young Rico).

"Who knows the Electric Slide? Well Eric is going to come down there and teach it to you...." Its electric, boogy woogy woogy.

Eric was a hit and cheese ball songs reigned supreme. And this is how Day I came to a close.

Stay tuned for more from the road...

Where are you now Jayro? : Brooklyn, NY -- Matty J's pad, creator of Jeremyround.com and Cap'n Design himself.

Journal Archives

The Mailing List!

Enter your email to sign up!

Jeremy Round World Tour - part I

Tuesday Aug 24, 2004